Although spiritual direction has a long tradition in the west, many people remain unfamiliar with the term. Also, even among those who know about spiritual direction, there are so many styles and ways of practicing spiritual direction that it's important to talk with a potential director about his or her practice to make sure it will fit with your needs.

For me, spiritual direction is a practice of spiritual companionship with another individual. My role is to sit with directees, listening to them, and listening with them to the Spirit at work in their lives. I will often ask questions that attempt to clarify a directee's situation, tease out what the Divine is calling her or him to be, or help a directee clarify his or her beliefs about the Divine. However, I try to keep my presence as non-directive as possible. The goal in our time together is for you to find your own best path, which will necessarily be different from anyone else's path, including my own.

Between our sessions together, I commit to hold you in the light. This is a Quaker phrase that points to the way we support one another in prayer. I like it as a metaphor, because it allows for the often non-verbal forms that prayer takes. As with our sessions together, the way I pray for a directee depends on that individual's own person. Even in my prayer time, I do my best to honor the religious metaphors that are appropriate to each directee.

Spiritual direction sessions are always confidential. What you share with me is between the two of us and God.

What a Session Looks Like

Usually, I begin a session with a period of centering silence that allows the directee and myself to leave aside the cares of the day and become fully present to one another and to the Divine. The directee determines the length of the silence. We then move into a period of me listening and the directee talking. I will ask clarifying questions, and may offer metaphors or images that come to me. Occasionally, I may offer suggestions of ideas or practices that have been helpful to others. I may also draw attention to aspects of what a directee says that seem important, or that seem to carry particular energy. Sessions often end with prayer or centering silence, depending on the needs of the individual. Sessions last about an hour.

Sessions in person take place in my private office attached to, but separate from, my house.

For phone sessions, I recommend that directees go to a quiet room where they can have privacy. I also find it's helpful to light a candle or find some other object on which to focus as we talk.